Asked a guy to draw him
Tuesday, 22 April 2025 02:06![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dylan_mxIn February, with my adversion to screens, I had switched more to life drawing. Sketching from life is quite intimidating, but the more I do it the more my confidence grows.
I went to a local event and met new people and one of these people was this guy – he made and impression because he asked me how often do I think of the Roman Empire, which is a meme that I find really funny and also me and my friend group... well we think about the Roman Empire a lot – so when I met him again at another event I totally remembered him and since I was there at a table drawing, after a chit-chat I asked him if he could stay a bit so I could draw him.
His reaction was a wave of feelings, because he went kind of shy, flattered, like, his whole demeanor shifted and he looked so softened to me as he said "I've never posed for a portrait before" and it felt like a kind of intimate admission, I got the feeling that asking him to draw him was like saying "you are beautiful" and he felt like he had never been considered beautiful enough to be worthy of being depicted...
As I started to sketch, we got back to 'chatting about whatever' and he kind of went back to the usual behaviour except very self conscious – I realize I put him a lot on the spot with that request! I need to work on making "models" relax XD but on my part it felt SO GOOD being able to stare openly and drawing someone who knew I was drawing them!
My people sketching experience is usually sketching passersby as fast as possible without being noticed and being able to look felt incredible... I mean asdfghjkl I was also very nervous about doing good and capturing the likeness despite him moving constantly – he was clearly nervous/self conscious but I can't help but find it cute!!
When I finished he said he really liked it, which made me feel even better, so much so that I got a bit flustered myself and babbled and I committed one of the cardinal sins of accepting compliments: I said he was definitely more beautiful than how I drew him, putting myself down a bit... but I really wanted to express that if I got an hour instead of a few minutes I would have rendered better the details of his face that were more interesting to me... his eyes totally remind me of Neri Marcorè's *sigh
After all this it's only fair I share the final drawing with you all also :)
A part of me also worried that all my appreciation might have been interpreted as flirting or worse (for me), making sexual advances, as an aroace I get paranoid over that easily – I really do not like not knowing if my words are being misinterpreted, I am even considering making some sort of pin with 'not flirting - just friendly'... I just want to go around and tell people what I love most about their appearances without sounding like a complete creep, I stay within social accepted boundaries but I would really love to go all freak as I have an artistic laser focus on finding beautiful the weirdest details of human anatomy (and/or things that do not have an anatomical name but are there). How do I even find a balance between honest compliments and not making people uncomfortable?? Clearly I need more social practice ahah! Right now I just keep to myself u^^
“It’s okay if people look at you like you’re a little crazy, tell them you’re a painter” - Bob Ross
The thing is also that for me is incredibly easy to look at someone and find something beautiful that I'd love to draw! It feel that if I look at something long enough beauty just flourish and my brain sparks set reality on fire and I get the intense feeling that I am looking at something amazing that just gives me free serotonin. I am an extreme case of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Even with my anxieties the experience was overwhelmingly positive <3 Now that I read back on my account I am describing it as a very fanfiction-y moment ahah but it felt so to me so you'll forgive the romanticization of the facts :)
I went to a local event and met new people and one of these people was this guy – he made and impression because he asked me how often do I think of the Roman Empire, which is a meme that I find really funny and also me and my friend group... well we think about the Roman Empire a lot – so when I met him again at another event I totally remembered him and since I was there at a table drawing, after a chit-chat I asked him if he could stay a bit so I could draw him.
His reaction was a wave of feelings, because he went kind of shy, flattered, like, his whole demeanor shifted and he looked so softened to me as he said "I've never posed for a portrait before" and it felt like a kind of intimate admission, I got the feeling that asking him to draw him was like saying "you are beautiful" and he felt like he had never been considered beautiful enough to be worthy of being depicted...
As I started to sketch, we got back to 'chatting about whatever' and he kind of went back to the usual behaviour except very self conscious – I realize I put him a lot on the spot with that request! I need to work on making "models" relax XD but on my part it felt SO GOOD being able to stare openly and drawing someone who knew I was drawing them!
My people sketching experience is usually sketching passersby as fast as possible without being noticed and being able to look felt incredible... I mean asdfghjkl I was also very nervous about doing good and capturing the likeness despite him moving constantly – he was clearly nervous/self conscious but I can't help but find it cute!!
When I finished he said he really liked it, which made me feel even better, so much so that I got a bit flustered myself and babbled and I committed one of the cardinal sins of accepting compliments: I said he was definitely more beautiful than how I drew him, putting myself down a bit... but I really wanted to express that if I got an hour instead of a few minutes I would have rendered better the details of his face that were more interesting to me... his eyes totally remind me of Neri Marcorè's *sigh
After all this it's only fair I share the final drawing with you all also :)
A part of me also worried that all my appreciation might have been interpreted as flirting or worse (for me), making sexual advances, as an aroace I get paranoid over that easily – I really do not like not knowing if my words are being misinterpreted, I am even considering making some sort of pin with 'not flirting - just friendly'... I just want to go around and tell people what I love most about their appearances without sounding like a complete creep, I stay within social accepted boundaries but I would really love to go all freak as I have an artistic laser focus on finding beautiful the weirdest details of human anatomy (and/or things that do not have an anatomical name but are there). How do I even find a balance between honest compliments and not making people uncomfortable?? Clearly I need more social practice ahah! Right now I just keep to myself u^^
“It’s okay if people look at you like you’re a little crazy, tell them you’re a painter” - Bob Ross
The thing is also that for me is incredibly easy to look at someone and find something beautiful that I'd love to draw! It feel that if I look at something long enough beauty just flourish and my brain sparks set reality on fire and I get the intense feeling that I am looking at something amazing that just gives me free serotonin. I am an extreme case of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Even with my anxieties the experience was overwhelmingly positive <3 Now that I read back on my account I am describing it as a very fanfiction-y moment ahah but it felt so to me so you'll forgive the romanticization of the facts :)
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Date: Tuesday, 22 April 2025 10:44 (UTC)It feel that if I look at something long enough beauty just flourish and my brain sparks set reality on fire and I get the intense feeling that I am looking at something amazing that just gives me free serotonin.
Yes! <333